Being Horny As Hell Has Been The Best Strategy On Barstool vs America
The underdog Yellow Team (Keegs, Kayce, Spider, Myself) showed up in Chicago ready to take on the Blue Team Big 3 (Dana, Marty, Pat) ... and Glenny in what was the most grueling challenge the Yellow and Blue teams have experienced on the trip. All the momentum is going the blue team's way, and Yellow needed to take control of the game. The only way to do this was to start cutting off the heads of 3 Headed Monster. Bringing either Marty or Dana over to yellow will make the teams even, but the only way to do that is to beat the HEAVILY favored Blue Team in an EXTREMELY physical challenge where we fought each other and the summer sun ...the fucking sun.
Luckily for the Yellow team, the underlying element of the team challenge was mental. The captains would have to memorize a sequence of seltzer flavors, then tell the rest of the team how to arrange the flavors. The smartest woman in the world was on our team as the captain and had been begging for more mental challenges the whole trip.
Mental is Kelly's strong suit. The physical activity? Not so much. You can hear me audibly making fun of Keeg's shitty running form in the episode (someone didn't run D1 and it shows), but she kept keeping pace with Blue Captain Pat each round, and that was HUGE for the yellow team. Proud of my captain.
Yellow didn't just get beat in the first 2 rounds, yellow was DOMINATED by the physical ability of the Blue Team. It would have been very easy for yellow to lay down and die in the Chicago heat, but we didn't. No one quit. Down 0-2 looking in the team's eyes you could see nobody was going to give up. Loved it.
Yellow can't square up and match blue physically, BUT by the end of the challenge, the Yellow team had perfected the Henry Ford assembly line strategy for moving the cans down the course. Our stoolie Luke and I tried to do the bulk of the lifting, Kayce and Spider would roll cans to pick up the slack, and Kelly was strictly the memory role on the team.
I'm not sure if Kelly had the best interest of the team when she drafted our guest player Luke to the yellow team, OR if she pulled a page out of Glenny Ball's book and drafted based on how hot they were. Either way, I'm not jealous hahahahahaaha?!?!? Luke looked like Captain America and he was probably the only stoolie from the bowling challenge that could have gotten us a win against Blue Team. Horniness pays off again on this trip. That's my captain.
Proud of the yellow team. So fucking proud. With the win, Yellow was able to deal a significant blow to blue by taking Marty and breaking up the Big 3. Unfortunately, that meant 1 yellow player would have to be sacrificed for the greater good of team. We assumed it would either be Spider or me, and it ended up being me. A short-lived victory with yellow, only to get stuck on an RV for 16 hours and miss riding the Ferris Wheel with Keegs. Can I catch a break? The drama continues tonight with the finale on The Jersey Shore for 40k and a Beach House. DO NOT MISS IT.